The past couple of days I’ve felt this overwhelming feeling of something I couldn’t describe. It’s a deep down on the inside fulfillment. Not an accomplishment of pat-myself-on-the-back kind of fulfillment. But a “WELL DONE GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT” kind. Like God himself had reached from heavens, placed His hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eyes and told me He was proud of me.
But I hadn’t done anything. Nothing miraculous. Nothing worthy of front page press. Nothing Gold medal. In fact, I could recite the self assessments I went through double checking my “2012 Get It” list, realizing there were still quite a few things I ‘needed’ to get done. I taught a few classes lately and would finish the class questioning why I wasn’t feeling ‘enough’. I played over and over every song, every step, every voice over cue and connection wondering if I made an impact on anyone. I wondered if what I had to offer was ‘enough’ for every person who walked in the class. I wondered if my mothering was enough. I wondered if my husband considered me enough. I wondered if that friend who called me to support her in tough times thought that my support, was enough. I wondered. I kept pulling up reminders that if God was pulling me through anything, His filter was on and He was training me and had allowed me to be sifted. Sifting everything OUT of me that wasn’t enough so that everything IN me was more than I could ask or think. I hadn’t done anything. Yet, to Him I was enough. I’ve started seeing myself as God sees me. He’s got big plans for me. And you.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 ( For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Here I was, measuring my ‘good enough’ and true to His promise, He reminded me that He wasn’t just saying I was ok, He said He was proud. He was saying I was awesome! I found my awesome. I found my assurance. I found my Ephesians 3:18-19 (…to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. and know that this love surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
So this was what I was feeling. Then I got a confirmation when Beth Moore’s Wednesdays With Beth spoke about this same scripture and being fulfilled. WOW God speaks when we listen! I got my second confirmation on my ride home from my class this morning. I was driving and praying and just really said a simple prayer – I just thanked God for allowing me the chance to be close to Him. I thanked Him for feeling in my heart that I am close to Him. Could I be closer? Absolutely. His word says draw near to Him and He’ll draw near to you.
Lysa TerKeurst does a tremendous job of highlighting the depth of reaching out to God when you’re feeling less than enough. I pray that you, where ever you’re searching for your ‘enough’ that you would allow God to fill it, to the fullness! Keep your heart pumpin’, spirit movin’ and get inneractive!
Here’s Lysa’s message that drove home what I was feeling. An excerpt from “Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl”
Are you tired of just going through the motions of the Christian life? Do you feel a tug at your heart to live completely for God—but don’t know what the next step is? Lysa TerKeurst invites you to uncover the spiritually exciting life you long for. Fulfillment is closer than you ever thought possible.