How many days til it becomes a habit

 

Though the path is uncertain, You are so faithful to shed just enough light for me to see the very next step. Too much revelation and I’d pridefully run ahead of You. Too little and I’d be paralyzed with fear. So I’m seeking slivers of light in Your Truth just for today and filling the gaps of my unknown with trust. // Uninvited – Lysa TerKeurst

 

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Do you mind if I share something with you friends?

This morning God started showing me how most of us are trapped in this space where we’re afraid to be honest for fear of looking weird or lost, but what we don’t seem to realize is that our honesty is liberating and an invitation to setting others free! I’m willing to admit that for the past few years I felt God asking me to get lost. To literally lose myself, in Him. To {be willing} lose the stuff, the status, the clout, the whatever IT was that might be holding me back not just from reaching my potential but the stuff that we call blessings that have slipped into the position that’s suppose to be reserved for God. So yeah I guess I could say I’ve attempted to get lost but I feel like I’ve been wandering. And what’s that saying …not all who wander are lost?

It’s been 12 days since I accepted a challenge from a friend to finish out the last 100 days of this year with intention.

The challenge was to choose one thing and do it mindfully for all 100 days. I had actually lost count of what day we were on til I looked back at the original challenge post.

So it’s been 12 days. And my challenge to myself is to LIVE LOVED.

To live like I know I’m loved.

Not based on anything I’ve done, but simply (though overwhelmingly remarkable) because of who God is.

Living loved is an intention that’s unpacked in the pages of the book Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst. It’s honestly an assessment of what’s trying to steal our joy, confidence, worth, and trust. It’s a fruit of the spirit that’s often smothered and choked out by bitterness, resentment, fear, distrust and rejection. These bitter seeds produce nothing bitter fruit and no one wants to openly admit that they’re bitter, fearful, rejected. No in fact what often happens is we mask those words and feelings with quotable phrases and mantras and positive affirmations that we try to meditate on, hoping the pain that’s hidden under the smile will slowly fade. That’s not living at all. And that’s certainly not living loved. I’ve been there and honestly some of those feelings go so far deep beyond the trenches of my soul that I can’t even begin to guess where the roots end. But God’s love, meets me right here today without any record of my misconduct, in the midst of whatever I’m feeling and His grace doesn’t ask me anything other than “do you believe” and will I receive it.

Romans 8:38 promises me that NOTHING can separate me from God’s love and I know that full well.

That’s not my challenge.

My challenge is living like I know it and believe it.

Today our morning devotion with our kids talked about believing what you can’t see; when we honor and trust it, this is the fullness of living by the Spirit (the Holy Spirit); not to be confused by the spirit of entitlement, the spirit of foolishness, the spirit of pride or any other bossy spirit that tries to undermine the TRUTH of God’s word.

NOTHING can separate us friends.

Not our mistakes, not our wrongs, not our rights, not anything done to us or through us, not our negative thinking, fear, anger, resentment… none of the stuff that seems to invade our lives can separate us. He won’t love us any less if we decide to just sit down, fold our arms and throw a tantrum and He won’t love us anymore when we decide to stop pouting and carry on with life.

His love never fails and it never stops giving.  I’m sorry but that just feels like so much that I can’t even wrap my brain around it sometimes.

Psalm 103:8-12The Voice (VOICE)*

The Eternal is compassionate and merciful.
    When we cross all the lines, He is patient with us.
    When we struggle against Him, He lovingly stays with us—changing, convicting, prodding;
He will not constantly criticize,
    nor will He hold a grudge forever.
10 Thankfully, God does not punish us for our sins and depravity as we deserve.
    In His mercy, He tempers justice with peace.
11 Measure how high heaven is above the earth;
    God’s wide, loving, kind heart is greater for those who revere Him.
12 You see, God takes all our crimes—our seemingly inexhaustible sins—and removes them.
    As far as east is from the west, He removes them from us.

Meditate on that. Selah.

So back to this challenge.

I’m on day 12. It’s not been an easy challenge. I don’t like calling it a challenge. Let’s call it a journey. A 100 day journey. (For real, the theme song to Gilligan’s Island just started playing in my mind)…

Add to that, this month’s blog focus is LOSE IT: Whatever IT is; and y’all I couldn’t have planned this if I tried. Today I stared at the description of the October challenge and laughed at the screen because in order for me to live loved, I’m gonna have to lose something (it); whatever IT is! 12 days. Living loved.

And it’s also week 6 of our Weigh Less to Feed More nutrition bible study which this week is focusing on being filled with God’s love in our inner being (Ephesians 3); not to mention it’s day 23 of the Clean Hearting Challenge which parked on being content and all of this; there’s a theme growing; this seems to be knitted together in some kind of tapestry God is trying to get me to see. It all comes back to the heart. See this is how satan works. He doesn’t mind that God’s word is in our lives; that we can memorize and quote the bible, sing worship songs or wear it on a tshirt; he just wants to make sure it’s not in our hearts. (Above all else guard your hearts Proverbs 4:23) People will tell you to listen to your heart and lead with your heart but the bible also warns us that our hearts can be deceptive, (Jeremiah 17); this is why we NEED the Holy Spirit to help us discern what IT is that’s potentially toxic and causing us to lean left when we know we should go right.

The choices and consequences are clear. Rely on people alone, and life will be tough and brutish.

Rely on the one True God, and life will be rich and productive. Jeremiah 17:7-10

So the challenge. I mean journey. Day 12. Today I got nothing. No that’s not true. Today I got the promise of sisterhood rooted in Christ. I found the commitment rooted in trust and truth. I found the confidence of knowing that God surrounds us with kindred hearts who have His purpose hidden in their hearts and so they extend their hand to lead you. I found it when I wasn’t even looking. Today, I found exactly what we told our kids. Believe it when you can’t see it, then when you see it you’ll believe it.

Day 12 is also day 4 of what I’ll call a stone I’ve picked up on this journey. Day4 of 31 days of writing on purpose. 31 days within those 100 days of removing obstacles to set my mind, heart and body free. 31 days of learning and writing and sharing the unforced rhythms of grace. Living loved.

How many days til it becomes a habit?

 

31dayswrite

*The Voice (VOICE)

(The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.)

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