Goal check: Population Me…REALLY?

Just take a moment to  listen to the song, then we’ll chat…

Ok, now. Where do I begin?

Maybe there’s a little conviction you’re feeling, maybe not. For now, I’m just gonna tell you that I think, CORRECTION I know. I was in my own little world. This world that said I was the only one who cared about the world around me.

Kids grades.

laundry.

faith-I mean real faith, like the kind that you lived by daily that you walked by, grew, heard it through the word and applied it EVERYDAY! (sorry got a little passionate there)

consistent fitness & healthy eating.

self-less-ness.

I think you get the point.

I was there. I was there in my own little world knowing without a doubt that I WAS THE ONLY ONE.

The only ONE who really cared, about ME and my stuff.

BOOM it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was self-absorbed. I was making sure that I was taking care of “my stuff” a.k.a. me, so much that I became the center of everything.

Now before you go all Dr.Phil let me say that I’m a huge advocate of including yourself into the list of folks to take care of, especially for us moms who tend to forget about our own wellbeing.

But what I’m talkin’ about here is just what the song said, Population me!

Me and My kids, Me and my finances, Me and my needs, Me and My mouth -translation-whatever it was I said to someone who chose selective hearing, Me and my doubts, Me and my fears, Me and my anxieties, me and my OMG THESE PANTS ARE TOO BIG AND THE ONLY GOSH-DERN THING MY HUSBAND CAN REPLY WITH WHEN I ASKED IF THEY LOOK TOO TIGHT IS “No you’re just bloated” !

WHAT THE…..ARGHHHHHHHH

I really had to take some time and have a talk with God, because at this point all I could say was, WHY? Why does it seem like I’m the only one that seems to care. Why does it seem like every time I plan something no one wants to do it? Why won’t people listen to my advice but they listen to what others say even when it’s the same thing? I was asking a whole lot of why?  I found a story similar in 1 Kings 19:14-18 where Elijah really screamed at God and pretty much said exactly what I was screaming “I’m the only one” but he exaggerated a bit and said “and they are trying to kill me”.

Truth be told, I think through my tears my heart felt like I was being killed. But God quickly showed me that if I really was as concerned as I was screaming about, then I would be asking WHAT, WHERE,  and WHEN.

What is He trying to show me in the situation. What lesson is He trying to teach? Even if that lesson isn’t about me or for me?

Where does He want me to go next.

When can He trust me to totally trust that He knows what He’s doing and knows what to do with me and for me.

Sometimes we can allow ourselves to become so discouraged that we exaggerate our circumstances and become self-absorbed worrying  ‘what about me’. We can start to question has God forgotten about us, we forget what He’s already done for us, we can even become fearful that He’s no longer concerned about us. But that’s simply not true. Elijah became so focused on his problems that he became ineffective. He was no longer  focusing on God and His resources and instead focusing on his own resources. We must keep our eyes on God’s calling and not our own limitations.

REALITY CHECK

I was watching an episode of the Real House Wives (confession) during a birthday party scene I saw the clear picture of being self-absorbed. Not that I’d ever be this absorbed but whoa to the one who point out the speck in another persons eye.  In this particular episode there was hoopla ($50K) of a birthday celebration where the housewife proceeds to congratulate the daughter (who is only 4); who isn’t anywhere to be found; and quickly turns it into a YAY ME toast. Yes that’s right, I said toast-champaigne…I think she was on glass number 4 but who’s counting. At any rate, the flash of reality, ehem this is reality t.v. right?

Reality check#1…no housewife I know would spend her child’s birthday getting sauced only to celebrate her own ‘getting through pregnancy and arriving here today’ and think it was ok.

Reality check #2…the photo shoot for her child became a photo shoot for her. talk about “I’m-kindof-a-big-deal-syndrome” and finally the Reality t.v. check dinger…theme songs.

Every time they came to her scene in the show there was this chincy fairy-tale-like music that played. hmmm. Maybe she’s in that world, or thinks she is. So what’s the dinger you ask? If ya have a theme song (cue the Shaft music-boom chica bow-wow) there’s a real good chance that you’ve got the Population Me thing going.

“We don’t have to think highly of ourselves to think obsessively of ourselves. Being self-consumed and chronically self-conscious only traps us deeper in the prison of presumption.”-Beth Moore

He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself, but he who works for the honor of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him.” John 7:18

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