How to unlearn old habits


We are afraid of big dreams because we are afraid of ourselves.

We are afraid of greatness because we are afraid of our arrogance.

And yet Jesus said of us, “Whoever believes in me… they will do even greater things than these” (John 14:12)

We need to quit apologizing for using our gifts and start apologizing for NOT using them. – Jennie Allen #Restless


So much of our internal battles to care for ourselves; spirit, soul and body; is less about learning new things and so much more about unlearning old habits.


Find an opportunity of unlearning

Can we talk about this  sneaky form of competition that’s been lurking around and we seem to just keep living with it?  
It’s called pride.
It’s called I want what she’s got.
It’s called there’s no way I could possibly qualify or be good enough.
It’s called I can’t receive (don’t want to hear) anything from her because she has what I should have and that’s not fair for me to have to humble myself and listen to her.
It’s called satan couldn’t and wasn’t so he wants to see to it that you don’t and aren’t.
It’s called a giant, and it must fall.
Oh friends, we have two options; either agree with the Truth that God; in all of His enoughness; has created us in His image with gifts that are too many to name and therefore it’s not possible for the abundance to run out. OR we fold our arms, stump our feet and throw a pride/pity party in the name of satan’s anthem – aka defeat.
FIRST – His perfect love removes all fear. Jealousy, doubt, envy, pride, and rejection are all fear based reactions.  They cause us to either rise up in our own pride and ability and begin to strut our peacock tails or on the reverse we shut down, draw back and turtle.
SECOND – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13
For the word of the God is living and effective and sharper than any double edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It is able to judge the ideas and thoughts of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
Find a rhythm to move to
Be available to the community God has placed you in. Be your truest self (flaws and all) and this will allow the light of Christ that is in to shine. Even when you think it’s not very bright, the tiniest light breaks darkness; and those who feel like they’re wandering and grasping for hope will find your light; the Light He placed in you. When they find it, be ready with an answer of the hope that keeps you anchored.


Find a tribe to help you establish commitments

I teamed up with some of my faith and fitness sisters for a month long challenge called Resolution Recommit. Each week there’s a new theme and throughout the week we’re encouraged with devotionals, workouts, nutrition and meal advise and a sweet little community.

This past week, one of the devotionals included the message of beauty. It struck a chord, well more like a nerve.

Oh yall. It was loaded with permission.

Permission to be you and enjoy the you that God created. She spoke about how much she whole-heartedly just loves fashion and make up and expressing herself through art and music and she’s learned to not apologize for any of that.

Friends, I think sometimes we get tripped up and lost in translation and assume that God says we aren’t to be concerned with the outward appearance but ONLY our inner selves.

But NO. He doesn’t say that.

Jesus DOES remind us that yes we shouldn’t be so impressed with the outside of the cup if/when the inside is filthy but we are also reminded that our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, where He lives and I’m not sure He would want to live in a beat up dilapidated shack.

We GET TO take care of these bodies. We are HIS BODY, HIS HANDS, HIS FEET, His representation on this earth. I would think it’s worth us considering it a high priority to take care of the body He let us borrow to do His work.

I don’t know about you, but on both sides of the self-care coin was a battle of competition. The one that said I was too much and the other one that says I wasn’t enough.

I’m still allowing God to work out this thing in me as I gut my closets of failed attempts to be someone I’m actually not.

Trends, idols, icons, inspirations, fears, pressures, you name it and they had won over both my heart and my budget and I tried for years to figure out what I was suppose to look like and not draw attention to. I fought the battle of the skinny jeans and the flat abs and the J-Lo booty and well, good genes won and reminded me that some things are suppose to be there and others; well Jesus.

Psalm 19:7-9New Living Translation (NLT)

 The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.  The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living.

Be you tea bag



The best way to battle the lies of competition – which robs you of pretty much everything in your original design; is to sit with yourself and God and find a community of friends who will speak the truth in love over you. Be available to the community God has placed you in. 1 Peter 5:6 reminds us to be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.

Be your truest self (flaws and all) and this will allow the light of Christ that is in to shine. Even when you think it’s not very bright, the tiniest light breaks darkness; and those who feel like they’re wandering and grasping for hope will find your light; the Light He placed in you. When they find it, be ready with an answer of the hope that keeps you anchored.

Find the best of you

I hope you’ll consider being a part of our FEBRUARY challenge as we take an active approach toward “lovin’ the best of me and losin’ the rest of me.”

Our anchor ⚓️ verse is Isaiah 61:3 to restore beauty, joy, praise & righteousness!! 💪🏾 

Above all else, guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life (it IS the wellspring of life). (Prov 4:23)

As a woman thinks in her heart so is she (Prov 23:7)

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Prov 17:23)

Coming Soon!!! NEW Classes – including an online training FITCAMP community, Our next Weigh Less to Feed More group REGISTER HERE FOR the February Challenge


ccoming soon

Oh friends, this is something God has really been speaking to me and I can’t wait to dive into these truths and restore us back to the place where He designed us! I hope to see you in the February FOCUS!

Speak – Even if your voice is trembling
Please – You’ve been quiet for so long
Believe – It’ll be worth the risk you’re taking

SOURCE: Amanda Cook – The Voyage Lyrics | MetroLyrics


Wait for the Lord, be strong, and let your heart take courage Psalm 27:14

Losing weight means resiliency over retraction




Losing weight means resiliency over retraction. Retraction is shrinking back and withdrawing, detaching and disconnecting.

Losing anything that feels overwhelming means being willing to identify your weaknesses, so that you can become stronger, in Christ.

Losing any of the stuff that tries to convince you to give up means giving up the stuff and learning a new identity and way of life.

Losing the stuff means being willing to give up the stuff verse giving in to the stuff that makes you feel less than what you were born to be capable of.

Losing what you were born to be capable of is the enemy of powerlessness. Know your battle. Fight it with all vigilance and diligence.

Losing powerlessness means weighing less, recognizing your worth and cultivating a spirit that rises to the occasion called life.

Rise up friends.

This is wholehearted living.


Guidepost to Wholehearted Living Number 3 Cultivating a Resilient Spirit & Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness  

Friends I’d love for you to join me on a journey toward cultivating a resilient spirit and allowing Christ the opportunity to teach you the unforced rhythm of grace.

Not that I’ve figured it out.

To the contrary, I’m learning this everyday! Every day, I put one foot in front of the other becoming stronger with every step that I take. And honestly I don’t even want this to sound like some sort of intervention method. Absolutely not. Well, actually it’s more like CPR for life; spirit, soul and body. So I guess, if you wanted to, you could call it intervention. But that’s only if you’re feeling like you’ve tried all of your old ways and those you saw on some top 10 list of do this not that and none of those seem to work. Or you could call it that if you’ve been headed down a path that seemed right but you caught a glimpse of where this is headed and it doesn’t look good. So then, yeah call it intervention.

All I can tell you is that the way He’s been so patient with me; taken me by the hand and gently guided me; has helped me to realize that I don’t have to do any of this by myself.

He assured me that I don’t need to do it the way others have claimed to have done it.

He promised me that I don’t need to numb myself with accomplishments, people pleasing or applause.

He insisted that I don’t need to rise up nor do I need to shrink back in an effort to hide and not be seen.

He committed to me that if I would allow Him to show me, He would lead the way and it would be an escape from the nonsense that I thought was progress.

Whatever the cause, whatever the issue, Jesus really does have an answer y’all.


Weigh Less To Feed More

The journey I’d like you to take with me is called Weigh Less to Feed More.


  • Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
  • Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? – Matthew 6:34
  • Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you. – Psalm 55:22


  • Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.- Galatians 6:2
  • Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you. – Matthew 6:38
  • For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God. -2 Corinthians 9:12
  • Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.- Philippians 2:3

Good news! It’s not about your weight! Whether you obsess about or neglect your body, you will get to the root of your unhealthy living. Find out what is really weighing you down. (Watch this FB LIVE video from the founder of Weigh Less to Feed More, Alisa Keeton and when you’re ready, click here to register for the next session which begins November 8th!

Finding your rhythm and dancing to it

Hope is the ability to hear the music of the future; faith is the courage to dance to it – unknown

Friends we are learning to hold ourselves not to a standard of perfection, but a standard of grace. And while, on the surface I want to chime “we should be getting better at it” my heart pauses to remind myself that GRACE IS AS GRACE DOES. So to that I don’t want surface, I want deeper lasting transformation and I humbly declare that we are BECOMING more identified by it. Everyday. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. This can’t be something that we do, we have to be willing to want it to be something that we are being.
“the old stuff wants to define us as worthless, meaningless, and useless will always come back and fight for us to return. We can humbly walk tall with a Spirit of humility because He loves us. We must CHOOSE to *receive* that love, *care* for that love and *protect* that love, so that when the storms come, we will know WHO is fighting FOR us because we are so loved!”{WL2FM wk6}
Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
******READ DEUTERONOMY 11:1-9 and answer the following in the comments:
* When have you experienced God’s outstretched hand to you?
*How does Deut 11:8-9 make it clear that God cares about your well-being?
* What does holding yourself to a “standard of grace” mean to you?

How many days til it becomes a habit


Though the path is uncertain, You are so faithful to shed just enough light for me to see the very next step. Too much revelation and I’d pridefully run ahead of You. Too little and I’d be paralyzed with fear. So I’m seeking slivers of light in Your Truth just for today and filling the gaps of my unknown with trust. // Uninvited – Lysa TerKeurst



Do you mind if I share something with you friends?

This morning God started showing me how most of us are trapped in this space where we’re afraid to be honest for fear of looking weird or lost, but what we don’t seem to realize is that our honesty is liberating and an invitation to setting others free! I’m willing to admit that for the past few years I felt God asking me to get lost. To literally lose myself, in Him. To {be willing} lose the stuff, the status, the clout, the whatever IT was that might be holding me back not just from reaching my potential but the stuff that we call blessings that have slipped into the position that’s suppose to be reserved for God. So yeah I guess I could say I’ve attempted to get lost but I feel like I’ve been wandering. And what’s that saying …not all who wander are lost?

It’s been 12 days since I accepted a challenge from a friend to finish out the last 100 days of this year with intention.

The challenge was to choose one thing and do it mindfully for all 100 days. I had actually lost count of what day we were on til I looked back at the original challenge post.

So it’s been 12 days. And my challenge to myself is to LIVE LOVED.

To live like I know I’m loved.

Not based on anything I’ve done, but simply (though overwhelmingly remarkable) because of who God is.

Living loved is an intention that’s unpacked in the pages of the book Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst. It’s honestly an assessment of what’s trying to steal our joy, confidence, worth, and trust. It’s a fruit of the spirit that’s often smothered and choked out by bitterness, resentment, fear, distrust and rejection. These bitter seeds produce nothing bitter fruit and no one wants to openly admit that they’re bitter, fearful, rejected. No in fact what often happens is we mask those words and feelings with quotable phrases and mantras and positive affirmations that we try to meditate on, hoping the pain that’s hidden under the smile will slowly fade. That’s not living at all. And that’s certainly not living loved. I’ve been there and honestly some of those feelings go so far deep beyond the trenches of my soul that I can’t even begin to guess where the roots end. But God’s love, meets me right here today without any record of my misconduct, in the midst of whatever I’m feeling and His grace doesn’t ask me anything other than “do you believe” and will I receive it.

Romans 8:38 promises me that NOTHING can separate me from God’s love and I know that full well.

That’s not my challenge.

My challenge is living like I know it and believe it.

Today our morning devotion with our kids talked about believing what you can’t see; when we honor and trust it, this is the fullness of living by the Spirit (the Holy Spirit); not to be confused by the spirit of entitlement, the spirit of foolishness, the spirit of pride or any other bossy spirit that tries to undermine the TRUTH of God’s word.

NOTHING can separate us friends.

Not our mistakes, not our wrongs, not our rights, not anything done to us or through us, not our negative thinking, fear, anger, resentment… none of the stuff that seems to invade our lives can separate us. He won’t love us any less if we decide to just sit down, fold our arms and throw a tantrum and He won’t love us anymore when we decide to stop pouting and carry on with life.

His love never fails and it never stops giving.  I’m sorry but that just feels like so much that I can’t even wrap my brain around it sometimes.

Psalm 103:8-12The Voice (VOICE)*

The Eternal is compassionate and merciful.
    When we cross all the lines, He is patient with us.
    When we struggle against Him, He lovingly stays with us—changing, convicting, prodding;
He will not constantly criticize,
    nor will He hold a grudge forever.
10 Thankfully, God does not punish us for our sins and depravity as we deserve.
    In His mercy, He tempers justice with peace.
11 Measure how high heaven is above the earth;
    God’s wide, loving, kind heart is greater for those who revere Him.
12 You see, God takes all our crimes—our seemingly inexhaustible sins—and removes them.
    As far as east is from the west, He removes them from us.

Meditate on that. Selah.

So back to this challenge.

I’m on day 12. It’s not been an easy challenge. I don’t like calling it a challenge. Let’s call it a journey. A 100 day journey. (For real, the theme song to Gilligan’s Island just started playing in my mind)…

Add to that, this month’s blog focus is LOSE IT: Whatever IT is; and y’all I couldn’t have planned this if I tried. Today I stared at the description of the October challenge and laughed at the screen because in order for me to live loved, I’m gonna have to lose something (it); whatever IT is! 12 days. Living loved.

And it’s also week 6 of our Weigh Less to Feed More nutrition bible study which this week is focusing on being filled with God’s love in our inner being (Ephesians 3); not to mention it’s day 23 of the Clean Hearting Challenge which parked on being content and all of this; there’s a theme growing; this seems to be knitted together in some kind of tapestry God is trying to get me to see. It all comes back to the heart. See this is how satan works. He doesn’t mind that God’s word is in our lives; that we can memorize and quote the bible, sing worship songs or wear it on a tshirt; he just wants to make sure it’s not in our hearts. (Above all else guard your hearts Proverbs 4:23) People will tell you to listen to your heart and lead with your heart but the bible also warns us that our hearts can be deceptive, (Jeremiah 17); this is why we NEED the Holy Spirit to help us discern what IT is that’s potentially toxic and causing us to lean left when we know we should go right.

The choices and consequences are clear. Rely on people alone, and life will be tough and brutish.

Rely on the one True God, and life will be rich and productive. Jeremiah 17:7-10

So the challenge. I mean journey. Day 12. Today I got nothing. No that’s not true. Today I got the promise of sisterhood rooted in Christ. I found the commitment rooted in trust and truth. I found the confidence of knowing that God surrounds us with kindred hearts who have His purpose hidden in their hearts and so they extend their hand to lead you. I found it when I wasn’t even looking. Today, I found exactly what we told our kids. Believe it when you can’t see it, then when you see it you’ll believe it.

Day 12 is also day 4 of what I’ll call a stone I’ve picked up on this journey. Day4 of 31 days of writing on purpose. 31 days within those 100 days of removing obstacles to set my mind, heart and body free. 31 days of learning and writing and sharing the unforced rhythms of grace. Living loved.

How many days til it becomes a habit?



*The Voice (VOICE)

(The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.)